Urban Legend #2: Part II
The High Price of Flawed Assumptions
We, as Christians, aren't immune to flawed assumptions. Even a highly moral, deeply sincere, smart Christian, with the best theological pedigree, has no guarantee of protection from the consequences of a bad decision based on flawed assumptions.
Over the years, people have made life-altering decisions based on what they perceived to be biblical principles, only to discover too late that what they thought was biblical didn't come from the Bible at all.
Most of the time, they were victims of a spiritual urban legend. A spiritual urban legend is just like a secular urban legend. It's a belief, story, assumption, or truism that gets passed around as fact. In most cases the source is a friend, a Sunday-school class, a Bible study, a devotional, a book, or even a sermon.
Examples:
- cleanliness is next to godliness.
- God helps those who help themselves.
- A penny saved is a penny earned.
Because they sound so plausible and come from a reputable source, spiritual urban legends are often accepted without question and then quickly passed on. Once widely disseminated, they tend to take on a life of their own. They become almost impossible to refute because “everyone” knows they're true. Anyone who dares to question their veracity gets written off as spiritually dull, lacking in faith, or liberal.
Spiritual urban legends aren't just harmless misunderstandings. They're spiritually dangerous errors that will eventually bring heartache and disillusionment to all who trust in them.
But far too often the consequences are spiritually devastating. Think of the disillusionment that sets in when:
someone writes off God for failing to keep a promise that He never
made in the first place.
someone takes a step of faith that turns out to have been a leap onto thin ice.
That is why an exposé of ten widely held but blatantly false spiritual urban legends is so important. They aren't just harmless misunderstandings. They're spiritually dangerous errors that will eventually bring heartache and disillusionment to all who trust in them.
My bet is that you've already seen through a few. Others you may have always questioned, but until now thought you were the only one who didn't “buy it.” Some may rock your boat. But whatever the case, I encourage you to examine each one with an open mind and an open Bible.
Last Sunday we discussed the old carpenter's adage: “Measure twice, cut once.” It's based on the observation that once we've cut a board too short, no matter how many more times we cut it, it will still be too short. The same holds true for the spiritual principles upon which we base our life. Once we've made a decision or set a course of action, it's usually too late to go back and start checking out the accuracy of our assumptions.
Spiritual Urban Legend #1: Faith Can Fix Anything
The Bereans of New Testament times offer an example worth following. Believers who lived in the Macedonian city of Berea went so far as to check out everything the apostle Paul taught them, examining the Scriptures to see if what he said was really true.
Question: do you think that during their review of Scripture, every single Berean Christian agreed wholesale with one another about what the Scriptures meant in any given passage? Or do you think that there may have been a majority consensus interpretation, but some few whose interpretation differed?
Now remember, Paul was an apostle, an author of Scripture, God's spokesman. But rather than being offended, he praised them for their lack of gullibility and noble search for the truth.
I encourage each of us to follow their example as we work through some of the spiritual urban legends to come. I think you'll discover not only that they are false but also that each one flatly contradicts what the rest of the Bible teaches. In many cases, they even contradict what their so-called supporting verses, or “proof texts,” actually say.
Can anyone tell me what iron pyrite is? It's an iron sulfide comprised of one atom of iron to two atoms of sulphur, and it's often known as Fool's Gold — iron II disulfide, if you want it's technical name.
Spiritual urban legends are a bit like fools gold. They look great at first glance, but once tested, they prove worthless. I want to make it clear that nothing in this discussion of spiritual urban legends is meant as an attack on the people who believe these things. They themselves aren't dumb. Their assumptions and
beliefs are, in some instances, simply incorrect.
No doubt we've all jumped to some pretty foolish conclusions in our lives. I know I have. But fortunately, early in my faith journey, I had some careful-thinking mentors who pointed out the folly of basing my belief system on what everybody else said rather than on careful biblical scrutiny. They taught me to avoid reading just my favorite verses. They showed me the importance of reading all the surrounding verses—and the rest of the book as well.
Their advice has served me well and saved me much heartache. It has also solidifed my confidence in the Bible. The more I've learned to toss aside the clichés, happy talk, and cultural assumptions that don't fit what the Bible actually says (or the way that life really works), the greater my trust in it as God's Word and the ultimate source of spiritual truth.
"See now that I, even I, am he; there is no god besides me. I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver from my hand." -- Deut. 32:39
Healing is a manifestation of God's power and compassion: Jesus' healing ministry in the Gospels demonstrated God's power and desire for restoration.
healing can only occur when requested by those having great faith: The healing of the man at the Pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-15) and the man born blind (John 9) are examples where the individuals did not necessarily have great faith beforehand.
In John chapter 9, Jesus heals a man blind from birth, demonstrating his power and authority as the light of the world.
9 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”
6 After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. 7 “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.
God's purposes extend beyond immediate physical healing: The Bible acknowledges that suffering can serve a greater purpose, such as strengthening faith.
Romans 5:3-5
3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
1 Peter 1:6-7
6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
James 1:2-4
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
2 Corinthians 4:17
17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Faith is important, but not a guarantee: While the Bible encourages prayer and faith in seeking healing, stating that "the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick" (James 5:14-15), it also emphasizes that healing is ultimately up to the Lord's will. The importance of faith in approaching God is highlighted in Hebrews 11:6.
James 5:14-15
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.
Hebrews 11:6
6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
God's sovereign will is the ultimate factor: The Bible teaches that God's will is decisive in all things, including healing. While faith is essential, it does not guarantee a specific outcome as God's purposes are beyond human understanding.
Healing is also linked to the coming Kingdom of God: Jesus' healings were signs of the inbreaking of God's reign and a foretaste of future restoration.
The biblical examples of Jesus healing based on faith highlight that faith is a response to and reliance on God's ability and desire to heal, rather than a force that compels Him. Therefore, faith healing ends where God's sovereign will determines otherwise.
The Bible directs believers to pray for healing, particularly in James 5:14-16, which instructs the sick to call for the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil, and in Acts 4:29-30 where believers pray for boldness and for God to perform signs and wonders, including healing. Additionally, many Psalms express prayers for healing and restoration, such as Psalm 103:2-3 and Psalm 41:3.
Acts 4:29-30
29 Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. 30 Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.”
Psalm 103:2-3
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
Psalm 41:3
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.
Pastor Larry W. Osborne, of Oceanside, California, said:
While faith is a concept deeply rooted in the Christian Scriptures, most of our modern ideas about it aren't.
Much of the blame can be placed on the way the original manuscripts of the New Testament have been translated into English. It's not that the translators are unskilled or deceptive. It's simply that translating anything from one language to another is a difficult task, burdened by all the ancillary meanings and uses found in one language but not another.
A quick comparison of how we use the words faith, belief, and trust in modern-day English with how they were originally used in the Greek language of the New Testament can be eye opening. Let's take a look to see what I mean.
A thousand years from now, all the things we try so hard to fix with our positive thinking, visualization, and drive-out-all-doubt prayers won't matter. The only thing that will matter is our awesome future and our face-to-face relationship with God.
Another reason to live by faith (even if it can't fix all the problems we face) is that it does promise to fix our biggest problem and our biggest dilemma. What do we say and do when we stand before a holy and perfect God who knows every one of our secrets and all of our sins? Honest now—what's to keep us from becoming toast?
Frankly, nothing. But that's where the real fix-it power of biblical faith kicks in. Jesus promised that all who believe in Him (remember that includes trusting Him enough to actually follow and do what He says) will receive forgiveness and the gift of eternal life.
A thousand years from now, all the things we try so hard to fix with our positive thinking, visualization, and drive-out-all-doubt prayers won't matter. They'll be but a distant memory, if they can be remembered at all. The only thing that will matter is our awesome future and our face-to-face relationship with God.
Spiritual Urban Legend #2: When God Forgives, He Forgets the Sin
Psalm 103.12
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Hebrews 10:26-27
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
As a new Christian, I was told that if I confessed my sins to God, he would forgive them. If I confessed the same sintwice, God would be confused. He'd have no idea what I was talking about, because he'd already forgiven and forgotten the )rst time.
Forgiveness was an act of self-induced spiritual amnesia that God did for me and I was expected to do for others.
But there's one problem with that concept. That's not how God forgives. He doesn't forget when He forgives, at least not in the sense that we commonly use the word 'forget' today.
If you look up the word forget in any English dictionary, you'll )nd its primary meaning is an inability to recall something (as in forgettingwhere you put the keys or forgetting to show up at an important meeting). It's the opposite of remembering.
Perhaps that's why, when the Bible says that God forgives our sins and remembers them no more, many of us think that means He literally erases them from memory. It's as if they never happened.
God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west (we read in Psalm 103:12) and hurling our iniquities into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19), and you can see why forgiveness has often been defined as letting go to the point of removing every trace of the wrongdoing from memory.
But that's not what those verses mean or how the word 'remember' is used in the Bible. When the Bible speaks of God remembering something, it doesn't mean that a long-lost thought suddenly pops into his mind. It simply means that He renews His work with the person or situation at hand.
For instance, the Bible says that after Noah floated around for nearly five months in the ark, God remembered him. That doesn't meanthat Gabriel had to remind him that he'd left the hose on. It means that God renewed his work in Noah's life. From Noah's perspective, it might have seemed that God had forgotten about him.But God hadn't forgotten.
The same goes for the many biblical stories about the sins of the saints and God's subsequent forgiveness. From Adam's foolish taste test to David's mind-boggling adultery to Peter's harsh denial, the Bible tells of some pretty ugly sins. Each is prominently featured, widely known, and fully forgiven.
Now, if forgiveness means God literally has no memory of these events, we've got a bit of a theological dilemma on our hands. Because, now, you and I know things that God is no longer aware of. And the Bible contains stories that God can't remember, because those stories tell about sins that He has forgiven.
Obviously that's an absurdity. So, what does the Bible mean when it speaks of God remembering our sins no more? It means that He no longer responds to us in light of those sins. They no longer derail our relationship with Him. They no longer garner His wrath. They are gone—completely—from our account. And now, when He looks upon us, He sees dear children washed clean in the blood of Jesus Christ.
But it doesn't mean he can't remember all the things we've done. An omniscient God doesn't forget stuff.
Why This Is Such a Big Deal
This is important to understand because whenever the call to forgive morphs into a call to forget, lots of us opt out. Even if we feel we should forgive, few of us think we can forgive if it means self-induced amnesia. So we don't even bother to try, except when faced with the smallest hurts and annoyances of life. The bigger things we hang on to.
But that's not all. When forgiving becomes synonymous with forgetting, it tends to produce spiritual confusion and other rather unfortunate spiritual responses for those of us who have been forgiven and those of us who need to forgive. Here are just a few examples.
Unfortunate Consequence of Misunderstanding Forgiveness
Anger at God
When getting right with God doesn't make everything right with life, it's easy to become disillusioned and angry with God, especially if we think that His forgiveness should have removed all the traces and consequences of our sin.
I've known lots of folks who have messed up big time. Many have been genuinely repentant, have turned away from their sins, and have attempted to move on with their lives, only to discover that they couldn't. The chains of the past were too strong to break free.
I think of a former tax cheat who could never shake the IRS, an alcoholic dad who could never win his kids back, and a former pornography addict who never regained his wife's trust or intimacy with her, no matter how hard he tried.
After a while, more than a few of these folks became angry at God. Because they assumed forgiving meant forgetting, they could not understand why God hadn't fixed everything they'd broken. They felt like he hadn't kept his part of the confession/forgiveness bargain.
Yet, in reality, God had kept his part of the bargain. He had forgiven them exactly as He promised and exactly as he had forgiven all the biblical saints of old. Unfortunately, my friends didn't know what the Scriptures actually said about forgiveness or how God worked it out in the lives of their biblical heroes. They thought they understood. But, really, they didn't.
Unreasonable Expectations
There's another problem that occurs when forgiving gets confused with forgetting. We tend to assume that if someone has forgiven us, whatever happened in the past should be a dead issue. The other person should just get over it and move on.
But that's unreasonable. It unfairly turns the tables on the one who has been wronged. It assumes his or her pain should magically disappear. And if it doesn't, we get to write off the injured party as an unforgiving slob. Our sin is now their problem. Not a bad deal!
Yet, in reality, healing takes time. Forgiveness is a decision lived out as a lengthy process. It isn't like flipping a switch. The expectation that those we've wronged should simply forget about it is not only unreasonable; it's emotionally unhealthy. People who can't remember what happened to them or who bury their pain are not spiritually mature; they're mentally or emotionally handicapped.
Giving Up
Perhaps the most significant downside of equating forgiving with forgetting is that it makes forgiveness seem impossibly out of reach. Sure, we can (and should) forget the little things — the social slights, the unkind word, the idiot who jumps our parking space. But when it comes to the true hurts and injustices of life, most of us are keenly aware that self-induced spiritual amnesia isn't in the cards.
Anyone who has been deeply hurt knows that painful memories stick. They can't be willed away. Pray as we might, they aren't erased. The pain may lessen over time. The memories may fade. The nightmares may disappear. But gone for good? Not often.
And sadly, having decided that it's not possible to forget, many of us also mistakenly decide it's not possible to forgive — at least when it comes to the big stuff.
Consequences
After David's infamous tryst with Bathsheba, he eventually fessed up. He acknowledged his sin, repudiated it, and cried out to God. To his great relief, God assured him that he was forgiven and that his life would be spared. But God's forgiveness hardly wiped the slate clean. It didn't remove the consequences. In fact, God piled on a few extra.
David was informed that the sword would never depart from his house; he'd always be at war. He was told that his own son would one day dishonor him in public as he had dishonored Bathsheba's husband in private. The temple he'd always dreamed of building for Godwould be left for another. And the son conceived on his night of passion would die a few days after birth.
Seeing this, my friend Aaron was taken aback. He'd long known the story of David and Bathsheba. But he had never connected the dots between the kind of forgiveness God offered David and the kind of forgiveness God wanted him to offer his son's killer. He was relieved to realize that God wasn't asking him to pretend that nothing had happened or to set aside all the earthly and legal consequences of the crime. It was perfectly appropriate for him to pursue justice and to do all that he could to make sure it was served.
Forgiveness didn't mean removing all the consequences.
Second Chances
God didn't summarily doom David to a life of hopeless regret after the Bathsheba incident. Even though Plan A was lost forever, there was still a Plan B. It wasn't a fresh start free from all the consequences—no, they would remain with him throughout his life. But it was a genuine opportunity to become something else in the eyes of God than the murderous adulterer he had been (and technically still was).
As David returned to the path of obedience, God restored him to the highest levels of usefulness. The difficult and tragic earthly consequences continued. But at the same time, God allowed him to remain king and to actually write parts of the Bible!
Talk about second chances. God took David's best poetry and reflections (much of it written after the fiasco with Bathsheba) and published it in his holy book. And then Jesus quoted it.
That's amazing. When it comes to being restored to usefulness, making the Bibles editorial cut is as good as it gets. Who needs a New York Times bestseller or a Pulitzer Prize? But more important, God's dealings with David model for us a pattern of forgiveness that retains earthly consequences while offering a genuine opportunity for restoration and productivity.
Learning to Forgive
So, how do we live out this kind of forgiveness in the real world? What consequences are appropriate? Which ones are punitive? How far do we go with second chances? Does forgiving mean trusting someone again even when we know they're untrustworthy? Does it give those who have hurt us the right to barge back into our life at deep and time-consuming levels? Do we have to invite them over for dinner…or Thanksgiving…or the wedding?
These are the tough questions. To answer them, let's see what happens when the urban legends about forgiveness are cast aside and we respond in a way that aligns more closely with what the Bible actually says about forgiveness.
Stop Keeping Score
The first thing we'll do is stop keeping score. Biblical forgiveness doesn't keep score. When Jesus spoke of forgiving seventy times (or seven times seventy, as some scholars translate the passage), he wasn't suggesting we keep a tally sheet. He was using hyperbole—or exaggeration for effect—to remind us to keep on forgiving.
When it comes to keeping track of life's hurts, conflicts, and injustices, we all tend to use some rather creative math. We have an amazing ability to undercount our own misdeeds while multiplying the wrongdoing of others.
Think back to the last time someone nearly killed you with a dangerous traffic lane change. My bet is that your response was pretty similar to mine. After a quick honk on the horn, a menacing stare, or a look of disgust, you were ready to move on, confident that the bozo who cut you off got the message and would be more careful next time.
But all too often, that's not how the offending party sees it. He tends to view the near accident as a no harm, no foul close call. That makes our blaring horn or evil eye a personal affront. It leaves him one down on the tit-for-tat scorecard. So he tailgates or pulls up alongside for a few choice words and some universal sign language.
We wonder, What's with that hothead? And if we have our own bent toward a short fuse, we're likely to do or say something to get the score back to even. Now the battle is on. We're mere steps away from serious road rage as each party escalates the issue in the eyes of the other while simply evening the score in their own eyes.
Get a Good Mirror
Perhaps it's this tendency toward creative score keeping that prompted Jesus to give his famous parable of the unforgiving servant. It's a story about a servant who owed his king a vast amount of money. So much that it could never be repaid. When asked for an accounting, he begged his king for more time. The king gave him something better. He graciously forgave him the entire debt and sent him on his way.
You'd think that servant would be one happy former debtor. But instead he confronted another servant who owed him a small amount of money and demanded immediate payment. When the king heard about it, he was furious. He called the servant back and—catch this—he restored the entire debt that he had previously forgiven. Jesus then ends the parable with these chilling words: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
I'll leave it to the theologians to argue how literally to take Jesus's words and how far to carry the analogy of a king restoring a previously canceled debt. I can see it now: an Ultimate Fighting Championship or Cage Match between the Arminians and the Calvinists. That ought to be interesting. But in the meantime one thing is certain. When it comes to forgiveness:
It's foolish to refuse to forgive others when God has already forgiven us.
That's why biblical forgiveness always starts with a look in the mirror. It doesn't start with the wrong that was done to me; it starts with the wrongs that I have done to others. It asks, “What have I done and how have I been forgiven?” And then it offers that same kind of forgiveness to others.
Rebuke When Wronged, Forgive When Asked
But what happens if the person who wrongs us doesn't want to be forgiven? What happens if they keep at it? Is the Christian response to ignore it? Confront it? Teach them a lesson they won't forget?
Some say the Christian thing to do is to forgive before being asked—even as the injustice or annoyance takes place. If the school bully keeps stealing your lunch, make him an extra sandwich. If the dog next door barks all night every night, shut the windows, buy some earplugs, and turn up the TV. Same for the ex who refuses to honor your custody agreement. Forgive before they ask.
After all, didn't Jesus overlook the injustices that were done to him? Didn't he refuse to retaliate? Didn't he ask the Father to forgive those who put him to death?
Well, yes—and no. Jesus did say of the soldiers who crucified him, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
But that's just the point. His Roman executioners had no idea what they were doing in the cosmic scheme of things or whom they had on their hands. But Jesus was not so quick to let the Pharisees and other religious leaders off the hook. In fact, rather than waive their transgressions, he threatened them with hellfire. He even informed one group that a particular sin of theirs was beyond forgiveness.
No question: as Christ followers, we are to forgive. But that's not the same thing as overlooking everything people say or do. Jesus did say, “Turn the other cheek.” But he also said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” God's call to forgive doesn't mean we have to go through life as a punching bag. It doesn't mean we can't speak up. It doesn't mean rolling over, or being anyone's doormat.
In other words, there is a time and a place for confrontation, rebuke, and pointing out our displeasure at what is being done. Gods call to forgive doesn't mean we have to go through life as a punching bag. It doesn't mean we can't speak up. It doesn't mean rolling over.
Let God Be God
Ultimately forgiveness can be given only to those who want it. For those who don't, especially those who would rather continue to hurt us than reconcile, there is another response. It's a response that many Christians aren't even aware of as an option. It's called revenge!
To the surprise of many, there is a biblically appropriate time and place for revenge. But it's a different kind of vengeance than most of the world knows. It doesn't personally return evil for evil. For the Christian, that's not an option. Instead, it turns vengeance over to God, asking Him to do the honors in His perfect timing.
There is room for revenge. But it belongs to God, not us.
The apostle Paul—the same man who wrote so eloquently about our need to forgive others—saw no inconsistency in his own prayers that God would repay his enemy Alexander for the great harm he had done. In one passage he wrote of turning Alexander over to Satan, while in another he simply said, “The Lord will repay him.”
In still another he instructs us, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for
God's wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay’ says the Lord.” In other words, sometimes it's okay to pray, “God, sic 'em!” But if and when we do that, we still need to leave room for God's grace. He's been known to turn His (and our) enemies into his (and our) friends. And if He chooses to do so, who's to complain? That's what grace is all about. That's part of what it means to let God be God.
