2 Samuel 14 – Absalom Returns to Jerusalem

A. Joab intercedes for Absalom.

• (1-3) Joab’s plan to reconcile David and Absalom. So Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was concerned about Absalom. And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman, and said to her, “Please pretend to be a mourner, and put on mourning apparel; do not anoint yourself with oil, but act like a woman who has been mourning a long time for the dead. Go to the king and speak to him in this manner.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.”

• a. Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was concerned about Absalom: David was obviously troubled by his estranged relationship with Absalom. Joab, David’s chief general, perceived this and decided to do something to bring David and Absalom back together.

  • i. “In the case of Absalom and the king, the relationship remained
    virtually deadlocked, neither side having the spiritual incentive to break it.” (Baldwin)

  • ii. We know that Joab was fiercely loyal to David, and he may have done this to protect David. Joab figured that it was dangerous to have Absalom stewing away in a distant country and felt that the safest thing to do was to bring about reconciliation between father and son.

• b. Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman: Joab decided to soften David’s heart towards Absalom by bringing a widow before him with a similar story of estrangement from her son.

  • i. (4-11) The woman of Tekoa tells a story of one son dead and another son threatened with death. And when the woman of Tekoa spoke to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and prostrated herself, and said, “Help, O king!” Then the king said to her, “What troubles you?” And she answered, “Indeed I am a widow, my husband is dead. Now your maidservant had two sons; and the two fought with each other in the field, and there was no one to part them, but the one struck the other and killed him. And now the whole family has risen up against your maidservant, and they said, ‘Deliver him who struck his brother, that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed; and we will destroy the heir also.’ So they would extinguish my ember that is left, and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the earth.” Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.” And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “My lord, O king, let the iniquity be on me and on my father’s house, and the king and his throne be guiltless.” So the king said, “Whoever says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall not touch you anymore.” Then she said, “Please let the king remember the LORD your God, and do not permit the avenger of blood to destroy anymore, lest they destroy my son.” And he said, “As the LORD lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”

a. Help, O king: In ancient Israel, those who felt that their local judges didn’t treat them fairly had access to the court of the king himself.

b. Deliver him who struck his brother, that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed: The woman of Tekoa referred to the custom of the avenger of blood. The avenger of blood had the responsibility of avenging the death of a member of the family.

i. The cities of refuge mentioned in Numbers 35:9-34 were meant to protect someone guilty of manslaughter from being killed by an avenger of blood before the case could be heard properly.

c. As the LORD lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground: This was what the woman – and Joab behind her – waited to hear. In saying this, David ignored the cause of justice for the sake of family sympathy and loyalty. In personal relationships, it is a good and glorious thing to be generous with forgiveness and mercy when we are wronged. But David had a responsibility as the king and chief judge of Israel, and when he was sorely tempted to neglect that responsibility, he did neglect it.

i. “He guaranteed safety at the expense of justice, and immediately the farsighted woman captured him in her trap.” (Redpath)

ii. Several factors made this woman’s appeal successful.

· She was a widow, which would invite sympathy.

· She lived at some distance from Jerusalem, which made it difficult to easily know or inquire into the facts of her case.

· She was old, which gave more dignity to her story.

· She wore the clothes of mourning to heighten the effect.

· She brought a case of family estrangement to David.

· She brought a case that was not too similar, lest it arouse David’s suspicions.

3. (12-17) The woman of Tekoa applies her story to David and Absalom. Therefore the woman said, “Please, let your maidservant speak another word to my lord the king.” And he said, “Say on.” So the woman said: “Why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God? For the king speaks this thing as one who is guilty, in that the king does not bring his banished one home again. For we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him. Now therefore, I have come to speak of this thing to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid. And your maidservant said, ‘I will now speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his maidservant. For the king will hear and deliver his maidservant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the inheritance of God.’ Your maidservant said, ‘The word of my lord the king will now be comforting; for as the angel of God, so is my lord the king in discerning good and evil. And may the LORD your God be with you.’”

a. The king does not bring his banished one home again: The woman of Tekoa spoke boldly to David, confronting his sin of not initiating reconciliation with Absalom. Because he was estranged from David and growing more and more bitter, Absalom was a threat to Israel and David allowed it (Why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God?).

i. David had some responsibility to initiate reconciliation. If David approached Absalom, he might be rejected, but he still had the responsibility to try. Yet as king and chief judge of Israel, he also had a responsibility to both initiate reconciliation and to do it the right way. David will not succeed in this.

ii. “He is willing to pardon the meanest of his subjects the murder of a brother at the instance of a poor widow, and he is not willing to pardon his son Absalom, whose restoration to favour is the desire of the whole nation.” (Clarke)

b. We will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground: The woman of Tekoa wisely spoke to David about the urgency of reconciliation. “David, we all die and then the opportunity for reconciliation is over. Do it now.”

c. But He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him: The woman of Tekoa meant, “Find a way to do it, David. God finds a way to bring us back to Himself.” It is true that God finds a way – but not at the expense of justice. God reconciles us by satisfying justice, not by ignoring justice.

i. This is one of the best gospel texts in the Old Testament. If we are under the chastening of God, we may feel like banished ones. Yet we can accept the place of being banished, but still belonging to Him and trusting Him to bring us back to Him. If we must be banished, may we be His banished ones.

ii. God has devised a way to bring the banished back to Him that they might not be expelled from Him. The way is through the person and work of Jesus, and how He stood in the place of guilty sinners as He hung on the cross and received the punishment that we deserved.

4. (18-20) David asks the woman of Tekoa if Joab prompted her. Then the king answered and said to the woman, “Please do not hide from me anything that I ask you.” And the woman said, “Please, let my lord the king speak.” So the king said, “Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?” And the woman answered and said, “As you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has spoken. For your servant Joab commanded me, and he put all these words in the mouth of your maidservant. To bring about this change of affairs your servant Joab has done this thing; but my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of the angel of God, to know everything that is in the earth.”

a. Is the hand of Joab with you in all this? David somehow knew that a plan this subtle had to come from the hand of Joab.

b. He put all these words in the mouth of your maidservant: Joab orchestrated this with precision. He knew exactly what strings to pull in David. Joab was loyal to David, but it was not selfless loyalty.

5. (21-24) Absalom returns to Jerusalem but not to David. And the king said to Joab, “All right, I have granted this thing. Go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom.” Then Joab fell to the ground on his face and bowed himself, and thanked the king. And Joab said, “Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord, O king, in that the king has fulfilled the request of his servant.” So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. And the king said, “Let him return to his own house, but do not let him see my face.” So Absalom returned to his own house, but did not see the king’s face.

a. Bring back the young man Absalom: Joab got what he wanted and what he thought was best for the nation of Israel. He hoped that Absalom’s reconciliation with David would prevent a rebellion.

b. Let him return to his own house, but do not let him see my face: David was overindulgent with his sons in the past (such as when he got angry but did nothing against Amnon in 2 Samuel 13:21). Now David is too harsh with Absalom, refusing to see him after he had been in exile in Geshur for three years (2 Samuel 13:38).

i. When parents don’t discipline properly from the beginning, they tend to overcompensate in the name of “toughness.” This often provokes the children to wrath (Ephesians 6:4) and makes the parent-child relationship worse.

B. Absalom gains an audience with his father. 1. (25-27) Absalom’s handsome appearance. Now in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. And when he cut the hair of his head; at the end of every year he cut it because it was heavy on him; when he cut it, he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels according to the king’s standard. To Absalom were born three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a woman of beautiful appearance.

a. In all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks: This begins to explain why Absalom was popular in Israel. Israel was attracted to King Saul because he was a very good-looking man (1 Samuel 9:2).

i. Absalom was also a man of political destiny. He was the third son of David (2 Samuel 3:2-5). The firstborn Amnon was gone, and we hear nothing more of Chileab, the second born. It is likely that Absalom was the crown prince, next in line for the throne.

b. He weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels: Absalom had such a great head of hair that he cut five and one-half pounds of hair off his head every year.

i. “He was extremely proud of his long hair, and he lost his life because of it.” (Redpath)

c. One daughter whose name was Tamar: Absalom was a man of deep and sympathetic feeling. He memorialized his wronged sister Tamar by naming a daughter after her.

2. (28-32) Absalom is refused audience with the king. And Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, but did not see the king’s face. Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. And when he sent again the second time, he would not come. So he said to his servants, “See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire. Then Joab arose and came to Absalom’s house, and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?” And Absalom answered Joab, “Look, I sent to you, saying, ‘Come here, so that I may send you to the king, to say, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.”‘ Now therefore, let me see the king’s face; but if there is iniquity in me, let him execute me.”

a. Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, but did not see the king’s face: During these two years, we can imagine that Absalom grew more and more bitter against David. He was reconciled but only partially. David offered only a partial, incomplete reconciliation.

i. Absalom was banished from Israel because he murdered his brother Amnon (2 Samuel 13). Yet Absalom felt entirely justified in killing the man who raped his sister. His sense of justification made the bitterness against David more intense.

b. Joab’s field is near mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire: Frustrated that he could not see his father, Absalom burnt Joab’s fields to get his attention. This showed how brutal and amoral Absalom was.

i. It’s hard to think of a greater contrast than that between Absalom and the prodigal son of Jesus’ parable. The prodigal son came back humble and repentant. Absalom came back burning Joab’s fields.

ii. At the same time, sometimes God gets our attention by setting our “barley field” on fire. “He, knowing that we will not come by any other means, sendeth a serious trial – he sets our barley-field on fire, which he has a right to do, seeing our barley-fields are far more his than they are ours.” (Spurgeon)

c. If there is any iniquity in me, let him execute me: This statement reflects Absalom’s sense that he was fully justified in what he did.

3. (33) David receives Absalom. So Joab went to the king and told him. And when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king. Then the king kissed Absalom.

a. So Joab went to the king and told him: As brutal and amoral as Absalom was, it worked. Burning Joab’s fields got his attention and made Joab intercede on Absalom’s behalf.

b. He came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground: Absalom outwardly submits to David, but David’s two-year refusal to reconcile left a legacy of bitterness in Absalom that turned out badly for David, for Absalom, and for Israel.

c. Then the king kissed Absalom: David offered Absalom forgiveness without any repentance or resolution of the wrong. In personal relationships, it is often a sign of love and graciousness to overlook a wrong. Proverbs 10:12 says, Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. But as king of Israel, this was more than a personal matter with David. He was the “chief judge” of Israel and David excused and overlooked Absalom’s obvious crimes.

i. “He should have kicked him rather; and not have hardened him to further villainy.” (Trapp)

ii. “David’s forgiveness of Absalom was completely inadequate, leading to a further outbreak of sin. God’s forgiveness of a man’s soul is completely adequate, and a great deterrent to continued sin.” (Redpath)

iii. “May God write it on your soul: if the pardon you want is that God should wink at your sin, He will not do it.” (Redpath)

### Sunday School Lesson: 2 Samuel Chapter 13 – The Rape of Tamar and the Killing of Amnon

#### Overview of the Chapter

Setting: David’s royal household

Main Characters:

• Amnon - The name Amnon means “Faithful, Stable.”

  • David’s first-born son, born from his wife Ahinoam the Jezreelitess (2 Samuel 3:2). Being the first-born, Amnon was the crown prince – first in line for the throne of Israel.)
  • As later events will show, he did not love Tamar at all. Amnon lusted after Tamar and called it love. He certainly was not the last person to do this, and lust often masquerades as love.
  • In his lust, Amnon did not allow himself to call Tamar his sister – instead, she was "Absalom’s sister". The power of lust is strong enough to twist the way we see reality.
  • "Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me": Amnon’s behavior was clearly childish, and David indulged it. Amnon acted like a baby. It is childish to refuse food unless it is served the way we want it.
  • He forced her and lay with her: This was nothing but rape. Tamar did whatever she could to avoid this and all the blame clearly rests on Amnon.
  • The hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. Amnon had no real love for Tamar, only lust – and so he immediately felt guilty over his sin. Tamar was simply a reminder of his foolish sin. He wanted every reminder of his sin to be put far away.

• Tamar (David’s daughter, sister to Absalom)

  • This brother and sister — Absalom/Tamar — were the children of David through his wife Maacah, who was the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur (2 Samuel 3:3).
  • The name Tamar means “Palm Tree,” signifying fruitfulness.
  • "Do not do this disgraceful thing": Tamar easily saw how evil and disgraceful this was. Amnon could not see what was so plainly evident because he was blinded by lust.
  • "Please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you": The Law of Moses commanded against any marriage between a half-brother and half-sister (Leviticus 18:11). Tamar probably said this simply as a ploy to get away from Amnon.
  • "This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me": What Amnon did to Tamar was wrong, but he could still somewhat redeem the situation by paying her bride-price in accordance with Exodus 22:16-17 and Deuteronomy 22:28-29. The payment was meant to compensate for the fact that Tamar was now less likely to be married because she was no longer a virgin.
  • "Put this woman out…bolt the door behind her."
    • Tamar deserved better treatment as an Israelite.
    • Tamar deserved better treatment as a relative.
    • Tamar deserved better treatment as a sister.
    • Tamar deserved better treatment as a princess.

• Absalom (David’s son, brother to Tamar)

  • responsible for Amnon's slaying.
  • The name Absalom means “His Father’s Peace.”

• Jonadab (Amnon’s cousin)

  • an evil adviser to Amnon
  • King David's nephew (2 Sam. 13:32).
  • His wicked advice to Amnon began a disastrous chain of events.
  • A friend who truly was no friend at all; a carnal friend, a spiritual enemy
  • He advised, for the recovery of the body, the ruin of his soul.
  • "Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill": Jonadab advised Amnon to deceitfully arrange a private meeting with Tamar. He didn’t need to say, “And then force yourself on Tamar,” because in their shared wickedness, Jonadab and Amnon already thought the same wicked thoughts.

• Maacach David's first wife

  • daughter of King Talmai of Geshur

• King David

  • From this and other passages, it appears that David was generally indulgent towards his children. This may be because he felt guilty that in having so many wives (2 Samuel 3:2-5), children, and responsibilities of state, he didn’t take the time to be a true father to his children.
  • He dealt with the guilt by being soft and indulgent with his children.
  • This is often how the iniquity of the fathers is carried on by the children to the third and fourth generations (Exodus 20:5). A child will often model a parent’s sinful behavior and may go further than the sin of the parent.

Major Events:

Amnon becomes obsessed with his half-sister Tamar.

Jonadab gives Amnon deceitful advice.

Amnon deceives Tamar and rapes her.

Tamar is shamed and cast out.

Absalom takes Tamar in but holds a grudge.

David is angry but does not punish Amnon.

Two years later, Absalom avenges Tamar by killing Amnon.

---

Key Lessons and Themes

1. The Danger of Selfish Desire

Amnon’s lust is rooted in selfishness, not love.

He chooses to act on impulse rather than seeking what is right.

Moral Lesson: Desire must be guided by God's standards, not personal gratification.

2. Influence and Peer Pressure

Jonadab encourages Amnon to manipulate Tamar.

Bad counsel leads to disastrous outcomes.

Moral Lesson: Choose your friends and advisors wisely; ungodly influence can distort judgment.

3. The Injustice and Trauma of Sin

Tamar’s dignity is violated; her life is forever changed.

She mourns in sackcloth, symbolizing deep inner pain.

Moral Lesson: Sin often harms the innocent more than the guilty realize.

4. Failure of Justice and Parental Responsibility

David is angered but does not take action against Amnon.

His passivity contributes to Absalom taking justice into his own hands.

Judgment Point: When leaders fail to address wrongdoing, others may seek their own justice.

5. Bitterness and Revenge

Absalom harbors resentment for two years before striking.

His act of vengeance leads to further division and bloodshed.

Forgiveness Point: Bitterness breeds more sin; true healing requires confronting injustice and seeking God's justice rather than personal revenge.

6. The Ripple Effects of Sin

The rape of Tamar leads to the murder of Amnon.

David’s family begins to fracture—this event contributes to future rebellion.

Consequences Point: Sin rarely ends with one act; it spreads and multiplies when unchecked.

7. God’s Justice vs. Human Judgment

Though David does not punish Amnon, justice still comes through tragic means.

This reveals the limitations of human leadership without God’s guidance.

Judgment Point: God's justice is perfect and will ultimately prevail, even when humans fail.

8. Compassion for the Victimized

Tamar’s suffering is real and long-lasting; her voice and pain must not be ignored.

The story invites us to protect the vulnerable and stand for the oppressed.

Moral & Forgiveness Point: While we may not be able to undo harm, we can offer support, dignity, and restoration to victims.

Application Questions for Discussion What can we learn from Amnon's choices about controlling our desires?

How can we guard ourselves against bad advice or peer pressure?

What should we do when we see injustice around us?

How can we avoid letting anger turn into vengeance like Absalom did?

How can we respond in love and support when someone has been hurt or violated?

Closing Thought: This chapter is deeply painful but important. It teaches that unchecked sin, selfishness, and silence in the face of evil can destroy families and lives. As followers of Christ, we are called to seek righteousness, extend compassion, speak truth, and pursue justice.

Sunday School Lesson: Samuel Confronting King David Over His Sin with Bathsheba

Lesson Overview Scripture Reference: 2 Samuel 12:1-14

Main Theme: God’s justice and mercy; the consequences of sin; repentance and restoration.

1. Introduction to the Story Context: David's sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11).

David commits adultery with Bathsheba.

He arranges the death of her husband, Uriah.

Bathsheba becomes pregnant.

Setting the Scene: God sends the prophet Nathan to confront David.

2. Nathan’s Approach Nathan Tells a Parable (2 Samuel 12:1-7):

A rich man with many sheep takes the only lamb of a poor man.

David’s anger at the injustice leads to his own conviction.

Nathan declares, "You are the man!"

Lesson Takeaway: Sin often blinds us to our own faults. God uses His Word to bring us to awareness.

3. Confrontation and Accountability Nathan’s Reproof (2 Samuel 12:7-9):

God reminds David of His blessings: delivered from Saul, made king, and given Saul’s house.

David’s sin was not just against Bathsheba and Uriah, but against God.

The severity of David’s sin: He violated God's law and led others into sin.

Lesson Takeaway: Sin is never just a personal matter; it affects our relationship with God and others.

4. Consequences of David’s Sin Personal and National Consequences (2 Samuel 12:10-14):

David’s household will experience conflict (David’s children will turn against him):

• 3rd son Absalom will lead a revolt against an old King David (killed by Joab, see 1 Chronicles 3:1-2)

• 4th son Adonijah (2 Samuel 3:4) attempted to usurp the throne during the life of David (1 Kings 1:11ff). Solomon had him executed after being warned to remember his place in the line of succession per King David’s instruction regarding the crown. (1 Kings 1:32–35)

The child born to Bathsheba will die.

David's actions have a lasting impact on the nation.

Lesson Takeaway: Sin has consequences, and sometimes those consequences extend beyond the individual.

5. David’s Repentance David’s Confession (2 Samuel 12:13):

David acknowledges his sin: “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Nathan assures David that God has forgiven him.

Lesson Takeaway: True repentance involves acknowledging our sin, taking responsibility, and turning back to God.

6. God’s Mercy and Forgiveness God’s Response (2 Samuel 12:13-14):

David will not die because of his sin, but the child will.

God forgives David, but the consequences remain.

Lesson Takeaway: God’s mercy is greater than our sin, but there are still natural consequences for our actions.

7. Application for Our Lives Reflect on Our Own Sin:

What areas in our lives are we hiding from God? Are we ready to face our mistakes and repent?

The Power of Repentance:

God is always ready to forgive, but true repentance means changing our ways and seeking His help.

The Call to Accountability:

Do we have people in our lives who can lovingly call us out when we are wrong? Are we willing to listen?

8. Key Takeaways Sin’s Consequences Are Real: No matter how small or hidden, sin has far-reaching effects.

God Confronts Us Out of Love: Like Nathan, God will speak truth to us, even when it’s hard to hear.

Repentance Leads to Restoration: When we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive and restore us.

God’s Mercy and Justice: While God is just, He is also merciful, offering forgiveness even when we deserve punishment.

9. Closing Prayer Pray for the strength to recognize and repent of sin in our lives, and for the grace to walk in God’s forgiveness.

Sunday School Lesson: The Story of King David and Bathsheba Theme: The Consequences of Sin and God's Mercy

Key Scripture: 2 Samuel 11-12

Introduction (5 minutes)

Briefly introduce King David as a man after God's own heart, a great king, but also a flawed human being.

Explain that today's lesson will focus on a significant event in David's life that teaches us important lessons about sin, repentance, and God's forgiveness.

Lesson Outline

I. David's Temptation and Sin (2 Samuel 11:1-5)

A. David's Idleness Leads to Temptation (2 Samuel 11:1-2)

Talking Point: While his army was at war, David remained in Jerusalem, leading to a dangerous period of inactivity. This highlights how idleness can open doors to temptation.

B. The Sight of Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:2-3)

Talking Point: David saw Bathsheba bathing and was captivated by her beauty. This shows how external stimuli can trigger lust if not controlled.

C. David Inquires About Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:3)

Talking Point: Despite knowing she was married, David actively sought more information about her, moving from observation to pursuit.

D. David Takes Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:4-5)

Talking Point: David sent for Bathsheba and lay with her, resulting in her pregnancy. This was a clear act of adultery, abusing his power as king.

II. David's Attempt to Cover Up His Sin (2 Samuel 11:6-27)

A. Bringing Uriah Home (2 Samuel 11:6-9)

Talking Point: David tried to trick Uriah into going home to his wife, hoping to make it appear that Uriah was the father of Bathsheba's child.

B. Uriah's Loyalty and Integrity (2 Samuel 11:9-13)

Talking Point: Uriah, a man of great integrity, refused to enjoy comforts while his fellow soldiers were on the battlefield. His righteousness contrasts sharply with David's sin.

C. David's Deceptive Letter (2 Samuel 11:14-17)

Talking Point: David escalated his sin by sending a letter with Uriah, instructing Joab to place Uriah in the thick of battle to ensure his death. This act of pre-meditated murder was a dark stain on David's character.

D. Uriah's Death and Bathsheba's Mourning (2 Samuel 11:17-27)

Talking Point: Uriah was killed, and Bathsheba mourned his death. David then took Bathsheba as his wife, believing his secret was safe.

III. Nathan's Confrontation and David's Repentance (2 Samuel 12:1-15)

A. God Sends Nathan to David (2 Samuel 12:1)

Talking Point: God, who sees everything, did not allow David's sin to go unaddressed. He sent the prophet Nathan to confront David.

B. Nathan's Parable of the Rich Man and the Poor Man's Lamb (2 Samuel 12:1-4)

Talking Point: Nathan used a relatable story to help David see the injustice of his actions without initially revealing the direct accusation.

C. David's Righteous Indignation (2 Samuel 12:5-6)

Talking Point: David's anger at the rich man in the parable demonstrates his capacity for justice, highlighting the irony of his own grave sin.

D. Nathan's Direct Accusation (2 Samuel 12:7-9)

Talking Point: Nathan boldly declared, "You are the man!" exposing David's sin and reminding him of God's blessings and David's ingratitude.

E. Consequences Announced (2 Samuel 12:10-12)

Talking Point: Nathan prophesied the severe consequences of David's sin: trouble within his own household, public humiliation, and the death of the child born from the affair.

F. David's Confession (2 Samuel 12:13a)

Talking Point: David immediately confessed, "I have sinned against the Lord." This humble admission is a crucial turning point, showing genuine repentance.

G. God's Forgiveness and Continued Consequences (2 Samuel 12:13b-15)

Talking Point: While God forgave David's sin, the announced consequences, including the death of the child, would still come to pass. This teaches us that while God forgives, our actions often have natural consequences.

IV. The Consequences and God's Mercy (2 Samuel 12:15-25)

A. The Child's Illness and Death (2 Samuel 12:15-18)

Talking Point: The child became ill and died, fulfilling Nathan's prophecy. David's intense mourning shows his pain and understanding of the consequence.

B. David's Acceptance and Worship (2 Samuel 12:19-20)

Talking Point: After the child's death, David's response was to worship God, demonstrating his faith and acceptance of God's will, even in sorrow.

C. God's Continued Blessing (2 Samuel 12:24-25)

Talking Point: Despite his sin, God showed mercy to David and Bathsheba by blessing them with another son, Solomon, through whom the Messiah would eventually come. This highlights God's grace and redemptive power.

Conclusion and Application (5-10 minutes)

Review Key Takeaways:

Sin has serious consequences, even for those who are close to God.

Idleness and unchallenged temptation can lead to grave sin.

Trying to cover up sin only makes it worse.

God sees everything and will bring hidden sins to light.

Genuine confession and repentance lead to God's forgiveness.

Even when forgiven, there can still be natural consequences to our actions.

God's mercy and grace are abundant, even in the face of our failures.

Discussion Questions:

What can we learn from David's mistakes to avoid similar pitfalls in our own lives?

Why is it important to confess our sins to God immediately?

How does this story show us both God's justice and His mercy?

Prayer: Lead a prayer acknowledging God's holiness, confessing our own tendency to sin, and thanking Him for His forgiveness and grace.

Urban Legend #2: Part II

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The High Price of Flawed Assumptions

We, as Christians, aren't immune to flawed assumptions. Even a highly moral, deeply sincere, smart Christian, with the best theological pedigree, has no guarantee of protection from the consequences of a bad decision based on flawed assumptions.

Over the years, people have made life-altering decisions based on what they perceived to be biblical principles, only to discover too late that what they thought was biblical didn't come from the Bible at all.

Most of the time, they were victims of a spiritual urban legend. A spiritual urban legend is just like a secular urban legend. It's a belief, story, assumption, or truism that gets passed around as fact. In most cases the source is a friend, a Sunday-school class, a Bible study, a devotional, a book, or even a sermon.

Examples:

• cleanliness is next to godliness.
• God helps those who help themselves.
• A penny saved is a penny earned.

Because they sound so plausible and come from a reputable source, spiritual urban legends are often accepted without question and then quickly passed on. Once widely disseminated, they tend to take on a life of their own. They become almost impossible to refute because “everyone” knows they're true. Anyone who dares to question their veracity gets written off as spiritually dull, lacking in faith, or liberal.

Spiritual urban legends aren't just harmless misunderstandings. They're spiritually dangerous errors that will eventually bring heartache and disillusionment to all who trust in them.

But far too often the consequences are spiritually devastating. Think of the disillusionment that sets in when:

1. someone writes off God for failing to keep a promise that He never
   made in the first place.

2. someone takes a step of faith that turns out to have been a leap onto thin ice.

That is why an exposé of ten widely held but blatantly false spiritual urban legends is so important. They aren't just harmless misunderstandings. They're spiritually dangerous errors that will eventually bring heartache and disillusionment to all who trust in them.

My bet is that you've already seen through a few. Others you may have always questioned, but until now thought you were the only one who didn't “buy it.” Some may rock your boat. But whatever the case, I encourage you to examine each one with an open mind and an open Bible.

Last Sunday we discussed the old carpenter's adage: “Measure twice, cut once.” It's based on the observation that once we've cut a board too short, no matter how many more times we cut it, it will still be too short. The same holds true for the spiritual principles upon which we base our life. Once we've made a decision or set a course of action, it's usually too late to go back and start checking out the accuracy of our assumptions.

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Spiritual Urban Legend #1: Faith Can Fix Anything

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The Bereans of New Testament times offer an example worth following. Believers who lived in the Macedonian city of Berea went so far as to check out everything the apostle Paul taught them, examining the Scriptures to see if what he said was really true.

Question: do you think that during their review of Scripture, every single Berean Christian agreed wholesale with one another about what the Scriptures meant in any given passage? Or do you think that there may have been a majority consensus interpretation, but some few whose interpretation differed?

Now remember, Paul was an apostle, an author of Scripture, God's spokesman. But rather than being offended, he praised them for their lack of gullibility and noble search for the truth.

I encourage each of us to follow their example as we work through some of the spiritual urban legends to come. I think you'll discover not only that they are false but also that each one flatly contradicts what the rest of the Bible teaches. In many cases, they even contradict what their so-called supporting verses, or “proof texts,” actually say.

Can anyone tell me what iron pyrite is? It's an iron sulfide comprised of one atom of iron to two atoms of sulphur, and it's often known as Fool's Gold — iron II disulfide, if you want it's technical name.

Spiritual urban legends are a bit like fools gold. They look great at first glance, but once tested, they prove worthless. I want to make it clear that nothing in this discussion of spiritual urban legends is meant as an attack on the people who believe these things. They themselves aren't dumb. Their assumptions and beliefs are, in some instances, simply incorrect.

No doubt we've all jumped to some pretty foolish conclusions in our lives. I know I have. But fortunately, early in my faith journey, I had some careful-thinking mentors who pointed out the folly of basing my belief system on what everybody else said rather than on careful biblical scrutiny. They taught me to avoid reading just my favorite verses. They showed me the importance of reading all the surrounding verses—and the rest of the book as well.

Their advice has served me well and saved me much heartache. It has also solidifed my confidence in the Bible. The more I've learned to toss aside the clichés, happy talk, and cultural assumptions that don't fit what the Bible actually says (or the way that life really works), the greater my trust in it as God's Word and the ultimate source of spiritual truth.

"See now that I, even I, am he; there is no god besides me. I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver from my hand." -- Deut. 32:39

Healing is a manifestation of God's power and compassion: Jesus' healing ministry in the Gospels demonstrated God's power and desire for restoration.

healing can only occur when requested by those having great faith: The healing of the man at the Pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-15) and the man born blind (John 9) are examples where the individuals did not necessarily have great faith beforehand.

In John chapter 9, Jesus heals a man blind from birth, demonstrating his power and authority as the light of the world.

9 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. ² His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” ³ “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. ⁴ As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. ⁵ While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” ⁶ After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. ⁷ “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

God's purposes extend beyond immediate physical healing: The Bible acknowledges that suffering can serve a greater purpose, such as strengthening faith.

Romans 5:3-5

3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

1 Peter 1:6-7

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

James 1:2-4

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

2 Corinthians 4:17

17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Faith is important, but not a guarantee: While the Bible encourages prayer and faith in seeking healing, stating that "the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick" (James 5:14-15), it also emphasizes that healing is ultimately up to the Lord's will. The importance of faith in approaching God is highlighted in Hebrews 11:6.

James 5:14-15

14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

Hebrews 11:6

6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

God's sovereign will is the ultimate factor: The Bible teaches that God's will is decisive in all things, including healing. While faith is essential, it does not guarantee a specific outcome as God's purposes are beyond human understanding.

Healing is also linked to the coming Kingdom of God: Jesus' healings were signs of the inbreaking of God's reign and a foretaste of future restoration.

The biblical examples of Jesus healing based on faith highlight that faith is a response to and reliance on God's ability and desire to heal, rather than a force that compels Him. Therefore, faith healing ends where God's sovereign will determines otherwise.

The Bible directs believers to pray for healing, particularly in James 5:14-16, which instructs the sick to call for the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil, and in Acts 4:29-30 where believers pray for boldness and for God to perform signs and wonders, including healing. Additionally, many Psalms express prayers for healing and restoration, such as Psalm 103:2-3 and Psalm 41:3.

Acts 4:29-30

29 Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. 30 Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.”

Psalm 103:2-3

2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

Psalm 41:3

3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.

Pastor Larry W. Osborne, of Oceanside, California, said:

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While faith is a concept deeply rooted in the Christian Scriptures, most of our modern ideas about it aren't.

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Much of the blame can be placed on the way the original manuscripts of the New Testament have been translated into English. It's not that the translators are unskilled or deceptive. It's simply that translating anything from one language to another is a difficult task, burdened by all the ancillary meanings and uses found in one language but not another.

A quick comparison of how we use the words faith, belief, and trust in modern-day English with how they were originally used in the Greek language of the New Testament can be eye opening. Let's take a look to see what I mean.

A thousand years from now, all the things we try so hard to fix with our positive thinking, visualization, and drive-out-all-doubt prayers won't matter. The only thing that will matter is our awesome future and our face-to-face relationship with God.

Another reason to live by faith (even if it can't fix all the problems we face) is that it does promise to fix our biggest problem and our biggest dilemma. What do we say and do when we stand before a holy and perfect God who knows every one of our secrets and all of our sins? Honest now—what's to keep us from becoming toast?

Frankly, nothing. But that's where the real fix-it power of biblical faith kicks in. Jesus promised that all who believe in Him (remember that includes trusting Him enough to actually follow and do what He says) will receive forgiveness and the gift of eternal life.

A thousand years from now, all the things we try so hard to fix with our positive thinking, visualization, and drive-out-all-doubt prayers won't matter. They'll be but a distant memory, if they can be remembered at all. The only thing that will matter is our awesome future and our face-to-face relationship with God.

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Spiritual Urban Legend #2: When God Forgives, He Forgets the Sin

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Psalm 103.12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Hebrews 10:26-27 26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

As a new Christian, I was told that if I confessed my sins to God, he would forgive them. If I confessed the same sintwice, God would be confused. He'd have no idea what I was talking about, because he'd already forgiven and forgotten the )rst time. Forgiveness was an act of self-induced spiritual amnesia that God did for me and I was expected to do for others.

But there's one problem with that concept. That's not how God forgives. He doesn't forget when He forgives, at least not in the sense that we commonly use the word 'forget' today.

If you look up the word forget in any English dictionary, you'll )nd its primary meaning is an inability to recall something (as in forgettingwhere you put the keys or forgetting to show up at an important meeting). It's the opposite of remembering.

Perhaps that's why, when the Bible says that God forgives our sins and remembers them no more, many of us think that means He literally erases them from memory. It's as if they never happened.

God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west (we read in Psalm 103:12) and hurling our iniquities into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19), and you can see why forgiveness has often been defined as letting go to the point of removing every trace of the wrongdoing from memory.

But that's not what those verses mean or how the word 'remember' is used in the Bible. When the Bible speaks of God remembering something, it doesn't mean that a long-lost thought suddenly pops into his mind. It simply means that He renews His work with the person or situation at hand.

For instance, the Bible says that after Noah floated around for nearly five months in the ark, God remembered him. That doesn't meanthat Gabriel had to remind him that he'd left the hose on. It means that God renewed his work in Noah's life. From Noah's perspective, it might have seemed that God had forgotten about him.But God hadn't forgotten.

The same goes for the many biblical stories about the sins of the saints and God's subsequent forgiveness. From Adam's foolish taste test to David's mind-boggling adultery to Peter's harsh denial, the Bible tells of some pretty ugly sins. Each is prominently featured, widely known, and fully forgiven.

Now, if forgiveness means God literally has no memory of these events, we've got a bit of a theological dilemma on our hands. Because, now, you and I know things that God is no longer aware of. And the Bible contains stories that God can't remember, because those stories tell about sins that He has forgiven.

Obviously that's an absurdity. So, what does the Bible mean when it speaks of God remembering our sins no more? It means that He no longer responds to us in light of those sins. They no longer derail our relationship with Him. They no longer garner His wrath. They are gone—completely—from our account. And now, when He looks upon us, He sees dear children washed clean in the blood of Jesus Christ. But it doesn't mean he can't remember all the things we've done. An omniscient God doesn't forget stuff.

Why This Is Such a Big Deal

This is important to understand because whenever the call to forgive morphs into a call to forget, lots of us opt out. Even if we feel we should forgive, few of us think we can forgive if it means self-induced amnesia. So we don't even bother to try, except when faced with the smallest hurts and annoyances of life. The bigger things we hang on to.

But that's not all. When forgiving becomes synonymous with forgetting, it tends to produce spiritual confusion and other rather unfortunate spiritual responses for those of us who have been forgiven and those of us who need to forgive. Here are just a few examples.

Unfortunate Consequence of Misunderstanding Forgiveness

Anger at God When getting right with God doesn't make everything right with life, it's easy to become disillusioned and angry with God, especially if we think that His forgiveness should have removed all the traces and consequences of our sin.

I've known lots of folks who have messed up big time. Many have been genuinely repentant, have turned away from their sins, and have attempted to move on with their lives, only to discover that they couldn't. The chains of the past were too strong to break free.

I think of a former tax cheat who could never shake the IRS, an alcoholic dad who could never win his kids back, and a former pornography addict who never regained his wife's trust or intimacy with her, no matter how hard he tried.

After a while, more than a few of these folks became angry at God. Because they assumed forgiving meant forgetting, they could not understand why God hadn't fixed everything they'd broken. They felt like he hadn't kept his part of the confession/forgiveness bargain.

Yet, in reality, God had kept his part of the bargain. He had forgiven them exactly as He promised and exactly as he had forgiven all the biblical saints of old. Unfortunately, my friends didn't know what the Scriptures actually said about forgiveness or how God worked it out in the lives of their biblical heroes. They thought they understood. But, really, they didn't.

Unreasonable Expectations

There's another problem that occurs when forgiving gets confused with forgetting. We tend to assume that if someone has forgiven us, whatever happened in the past should be a dead issue. The other person should just get over it and move on. But that's unreasonable. It unfairly turns the tables on the one who has been wronged. It assumes his or her pain should magically disappear. And if it doesn't, we get to write off the injured party as an unforgiving slob. Our sin is now their problem. Not a bad deal!

Yet, in reality, healing takes time. Forgiveness is a decision lived out as a lengthy process. It isn't like flipping a switch. The expectation that those we've wronged should simply forget about it is not only unreasonable; it's emotionally unhealthy. People who can't remember what happened to them or who bury their pain are not spiritually mature; they're mentally or emotionally handicapped.

Giving Up

Perhaps the most significant downside of equating forgiving with forgetting is that it makes forgiveness seem impossibly out of reach. Sure, we can (and should) forget the little things — the social slights, the unkind word, the idiot who jumps our parking space. But when it comes to the true hurts and injustices of life, most of us are keenly aware that self-induced spiritual amnesia isn't in the cards.

Anyone who has been deeply hurt knows that painful memories stick. They can't be willed away. Pray as we might, they aren't erased. The pain may lessen over time. The memories may fade. The nightmares may disappear. But gone for good? Not often.

And sadly, having decided that it's not possible to forget, many of us also mistakenly decide it's not possible to forgive — at least when it comes to the big stuff.

Consequences

After David's infamous tryst with Bathsheba, he eventually fessed up. He acknowledged his sin, repudiated it, and cried out to God. To his great relief, God assured him that he was forgiven and that his life would be spared. But God's forgiveness hardly wiped the slate clean. It didn't remove the consequences. In fact, God piled on a few extra.

David was informed that the sword would never depart from his house; he'd always be at war. He was told that his own son would one day dishonor him in public as he had dishonored Bathsheba's husband in private. The temple he'd always dreamed of building for Godwould be left for another. And the son conceived on his night of passion would die a few days after birth.

Seeing this, my friend Aaron was taken aback. He'd long known the story of David and Bathsheba. But he had never connected the dots between the kind of forgiveness God offered David and the kind of forgiveness God wanted him to offer his son's killer. He was relieved to realize that God wasn't asking him to pretend that nothing had happened or to set aside all the earthly and legal consequences of the crime. It was perfectly appropriate for him to pursue justice and to do all that he could to make sure it was served.

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Forgiveness didn't mean removing all the consequences.

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Second Chances

God didn't summarily doom David to a life of hopeless regret after the Bathsheba incident. Even though Plan A was lost forever, there was still a Plan B. It wasn't a fresh start free from all the consequences—no, they would remain with him throughout his life. But it was a genuine opportunity to become something else in the eyes of God than the murderous adulterer he had been (and technically still was).

As David returned to the path of obedience, God restored him to the highest levels of usefulness. The difficult and tragic earthly consequences continued. But at the same time, God allowed him to remain king and to actually write parts of the Bible! Talk about second chances. God took David's best poetry and reflections (much of it written after the fiasco with Bathsheba) and published it in his holy book. And then Jesus quoted it.

That's amazing. When it comes to being restored to usefulness, making the Bibles editorial cut is as good as it gets. Who needs a New York Times bestseller or a Pulitzer Prize? But more important, God's dealings with David model for us a pattern of forgiveness that retains earthly consequences while offering a genuine opportunity for restoration and productivity.

Learning to Forgive

So, how do we live out this kind of forgiveness in the real world? What consequences are appropriate? Which ones are punitive? How far do we go with second chances? Does forgiving mean trusting someone again even when we know they're untrustworthy? Does it give those who have hurt us the right to barge back into our life at deep and time-consuming levels? Do we have to invite them over for dinner…or Thanksgiving…or the wedding?

These are the tough questions. To answer them, let's see what happens when the urban legends about forgiveness are cast aside and we respond in a way that aligns more closely with what the Bible actually says about forgiveness.

Stop Keeping Score

The first thing we'll do is stop keeping score. Biblical forgiveness doesn't keep score. When Jesus spoke of forgiving seventy times (or seven times seventy, as some scholars translate the passage), he wasn't suggesting we keep a tally sheet. He was using hyperbole—or exaggeration for effect—to remind us to keep on forgiving.

When it comes to keeping track of life's hurts, conflicts, and injustices, we all tend to use some rather creative math. We have an amazing ability to undercount our own misdeeds while multiplying the wrongdoing of others.

Think back to the last time someone nearly killed you with a dangerous traffic lane change. My bet is that your response was pretty similar to mine. After a quick honk on the horn, a menacing stare, or a look of disgust, you were ready to move on, confident that the bozo who cut you off got the message and would be more careful next time.

But all too often, that's not how the offending party sees it. He tends to view the near accident as a no harm, no foul close call. That makes our blaring horn or evil eye a personal affront. It leaves him one down on the tit-for-tat scorecard. So he tailgates or pulls up alongside for a few choice words and some universal sign language.

We wonder, What's with that hothead? And if we have our own bent toward a short fuse, we're likely to do or say something to get the score back to even. Now the battle is on. We're mere steps away from serious road rage as each party escalates the issue in the eyes of the other while simply evening the score in their own eyes.

Get a Good Mirror

Perhaps it's this tendency toward creative score keeping that prompted Jesus to give his famous parable of the unforgiving servant. It's a story about a servant who owed his king a vast amount of money. So much that it could never be repaid. When asked for an accounting, he begged his king for more time. The king gave him something better. He graciously forgave him the entire debt and sent him on his way.

You'd think that servant would be one happy former debtor. But instead he confronted another servant who owed him a small amount of money and demanded immediate payment. When the king heard about it, he was furious. He called the servant back and—catch this—he restored the entire debt that he had previously forgiven. Jesus then ends the parable with these chilling words: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

I'll leave it to the theologians to argue how literally to take Jesus's words and how far to carry the analogy of a king restoring a previously canceled debt. I can see it now: an Ultimate Fighting Championship or Cage Match between the Arminians and the Calvinists. That ought to be interesting. But in the meantime one thing is certain. When it comes to forgiveness:

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It's foolish to refuse to forgive others when God has already forgiven us.

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That's why biblical forgiveness always starts with a look in the mirror. It doesn't start with the wrong that was done to me; it starts with the wrongs that I have done to others. It asks, “What have I done and how have I been forgiven?” And then it offers that same kind of forgiveness to others.

Rebuke When Wronged, Forgive When Asked

But what happens if the person who wrongs us doesn't want to be forgiven? What happens if they keep at it? Is the Christian response to ignore it? Confront it? Teach them a lesson they won't forget?

Some say the Christian thing to do is to forgive before being asked—even as the injustice or annoyance takes place. If the school bully keeps stealing your lunch, make him an extra sandwich. If the dog next door barks all night every night, shut the windows, buy some earplugs, and turn up the TV. Same for the ex who refuses to honor your custody agreement. Forgive before they ask.

After all, didn't Jesus overlook the injustices that were done to him? Didn't he refuse to retaliate? Didn't he ask the Father to forgive those who put him to death? Well, yes—and no. Jesus did say of the soldiers who crucified him, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

But that's just the point. His Roman executioners had no idea what they were doing in the cosmic scheme of things or whom they had on their hands. But Jesus was not so quick to let the Pharisees and other religious leaders off the hook. In fact, rather than waive their transgressions, he threatened them with hellfire. He even informed one group that a particular sin of theirs was beyond forgiveness.

No question: as Christ followers, we are to forgive. But that's not the same thing as overlooking everything people say or do. Jesus did say, “Turn the other cheek.” But he also said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” God's call to forgive doesn't mean we have to go through life as a punching bag. It doesn't mean we can't speak up. It doesn't mean rolling over, or being anyone's doormat.

In other words, there is a time and a place for confrontation, rebuke, and pointing out our displeasure at what is being done. Gods call to forgive doesn't mean we have to go through life as a punching bag. It doesn't mean we can't speak up. It doesn't mean rolling over.

Let God Be God

Ultimately forgiveness can be given only to those who want it. For those who don't, especially those who would rather continue to hurt us than reconcile, there is another response. It's a response that many Christians aren't even aware of as an option. It's called revenge!

To the surprise of many, there is a biblically appropriate time and place for revenge. But it's a different kind of vengeance than most of the world knows. It doesn't personally return evil for evil. For the Christian, that's not an option. Instead, it turns vengeance over to God, asking Him to do the honors in His perfect timing. There is room for revenge. But it belongs to God, not us.

The apostle Paul—the same man who wrote so eloquently about our need to forgive others—saw no inconsistency in his own prayers that God would repay his enemy Alexander for the great harm he had done. In one passage he wrote of turning Alexander over to Satan, while in another he simply said, “The Lord will repay him.”

In still another he instructs us, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay’ says the Lord.” In other words, sometimes it's okay to pray, “God, sic 'em!” But if and when we do that, we still need to leave room for God's grace. He's been known to turn His (and our) enemies into his (and our) friends. And if He chooses to do so, who's to complain? That's what grace is all about. That's part of what it means to let God be God.

Urban Legend #1: If We Pray With Enough Faith, God Must Fulfill Our Requests

11 Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. - Acts 17:11

It is no news flash that smart people can do some pretty dumb things. But lots of times we forget that smart people can also believe some pretty dumb things.

What possessed a military genius like Napoleon to think that the harsh Russian winter would be no match for his troops? Sure, they were well trained and well equipped, but it's not as if he had a shred of historical evidence to support his decision to march on.

What caused the leading scientists and thinkers of Galileo's day to ignore evidence they could see with their own eyes and brand him as a heretic and a quack?

And why would an otherwise brilliant leadership team at IBM bet the farm on mainframes and practically give away the PC, as well as the underlying operating system, to a young programmer named Bill Gates?

All of these, and many other equally baffling decisions, were made by smart people. Yet, in hindsight, they all look a bit foolish. What happened?

In each case, an otherwise intelligent person badly misinterpreted the facts, made an incorrect assumption, or relied upon information that we now know to be completely false—with disastrous consequences. Sometimes they were confused by cultural bias (which at times can be so strong that it literally blinds us to the truth).

In other cases, their underlying assumptions were so widely believed and accepted that no one thought to question them. Sometimes they were done in by a bad case of wishful thinking. But whatever the cause, they weren't alone. History is filled with examples of otherwise intelligent people who acted upon amazingly goofy assumptions— and paid a high price for doing so.

The High Price of Flawed Assumptions

We, as Christians, aren't immune. Even a highly moral, deeply sincere, smart Christian, with the best theological pedigree, has no guarantee of protection from the consequences of a bad decision based on flawed assumptions.

Over the years, people have made life-altering decisions based on what they perceived to be biblical principles, only to discover too late that what they thought was biblical didn't come from the Bible at all.

Most of the time, they were victims of a spiritual urban legend. A spiritual urban legends just like a secular urban legend. It's a belief, story, assumption, or truism that gets passed around as fact. In most cases the source is a friend, a Sunday-school class, a Bible study, a devotional, a book, or even a sermon.

Because they sound so plausible and come from a reputable source, spiritual urban legends are often accepted without question and then quickly passed on. Once widely disseminated, they tend to take on a life of their own. They become almost impossible to refute because “everyone” knows they're true. Anyone who dares to question their veracity gets written off as spiritually dull, lacking in faith, or liberal.

Admittedly, the consequences of some spiritual misconceptions aren't particularly devastating. For instance, if someone mistakenly believes that the Bible says that “God helps those who help themselves” or “a penny saved is a penny earned”, it will throw them a degree or two, but it will hardly destroy their faith.

Spiritual urban legends aren't just harmless misunderstandings. They're spiritually dangerous errors that will eventually bring heartache and disillusionment to all who trust in them.

But far too often the consequences are spiritually devastating. Think of the disillusionment that sets in when someone writes o= God for failing to keep a promise that he never made. Or the despair that follows a step of faith that turns out to have been a leap onto thin ice.

That is why an exposé of ten widely held but blatantly false spiritual urban legends is so important. They aren't just harmless misunderstandings. They're spiritually dangerous errors that will eventually bring heartache and disillusionment to all who trust in them.

My bet is that you've already seen through a few. Others you may have always questioned, but until now thought you were the only one who didn't “buy it.” Some may rock your boat. But whatever the case, I encourage you to examine each one with an open mind and an open Bible.

There is an old carpenter's adage: “Measure twice, cut once.” It's based on the observation that once we've cut a board too short, no matter how many more times we cut it, it will still be too short. The same holds true for the spiritual principles upon which we base our life. Once we've made a decision or set a course of action, it's usually too late to go back and start checking out the accuracy of our assumptions.

The Bereans of New Testament times o=er an example worth following. Believers who lived in the Macedonian city of Berea, they went so far as to check out everything the apostle Paul taught them, examining the Scriptures to see if what he said was really true.

Now remember, Paul was an apostle, an author of Scripture, God's spokesman. But rather than being o=ended, he praised them for their lack of gullibility and noble search for the truth.

I encourage each of u to follow their example as we work through some of the spiritual urban legends to come. I think you'll discover not only that they are false but also that each one flatly contradicts what the rest of the Bible teaches. In many cases, they even contradict what their so-called supporting verses, or “proof texts,” actually say.

Can anyone tell me what iron pyrite is? It's an iron sulfide comprised of one atom of iron to two atoms of sulphur, and it's often known as Fool's Gold — iron II disulfide, if you want it's technical name.

Spiritual urban legends are a bit like fools gold. They look great at first glance, but once tested, they prove worthless. I want to make it clear that nothing in this discussion of spiritual urban legends is meant as an attack on the people who believe these things. They themselves aren't dumb. Their assumptions and beliefs are.

No doubt we've all jumped to some pretty foolish conclusions in our lives. I know I have. But fortunately, early in my faith journey, I had some careful-thinking mentors who pointed out the folly of basing my belief system on what everybody else said rather than on careful biblical scrutiny. They taught me to avoid reading just my favorite verses. They showed me the importance of reading all the surrounding verses—and the rest of the book as well.

Their advice has served me well and saved me much heartache. It has also solidifed my confidence in the Bible. The more I've learned to toss aside the clichés, happy talk, and cultural assumptions that don't fit what the Bible actually says (or the way that life really works), the greater my trust in it as God's Word and the ultimate source of spiritual truth.

"See now that I, even I, am he; there is no god besides me. I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver from my hand." -- Deut. 32:39

Healing is a manifestation of God's power and compassion: Jesus' healing ministry in the Gospels demonstrated God's power and desire for restoration.

Healing can occur without the recipient having great faith: The healing of the man at the Pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-15) and the man born blind (John 9) are examples where the individuals did not necessarily have great faith beforehand.

God's purposes extend beyond immediate physical healing: The Bible acknowledges that suffering can serve a greater purpose, such as strengthening faith. Romans 5:3-5; 1 Peter 1:6-7; James 1:2-4; 2 Corinthians 4:17; Romans 8:28.

Faith is important, but not a guarantee: While the Bible encourages prayer and faith in seeking healing, stating that "the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick" (James 5:14-15), it also emphasizes that healing is ultimately up to the Lord's will. The importance of faith in approaching God is highlighted in Hebrews 11:6.

God's sovereign will is the ultimate factor: The Bible teaches that God's will is decisive in all things, including healing. While faith is essential, it does not guarantee a specific outcome as God's purposes are beyond human understanding.

Healing is also linked to the coming Kingdom of God: Jesus' healings were signs of the inbreaking of God's reign and a foretaste of future restoration.

The biblical examples of Jesus healing based on faith highlight that faith is a response to and reliance on God's ability and desire to heal, rather than a force that compels Him. Therefore, faith healing ends where God's sovereign will determines otherwise.

The Bible directs believers to pray for healing, particularly in James 5:14-16, which instructs the sick to call for the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil, and in Acts 4:29-30 where believers pray for boldness and for God to perform signs and wonders, including healing. Additionally, many Psalms express prayers for healing and restoration, such as Psalm 103:2-3 and Psalm 41:3.

Pastor Larry W. Osborne, of Oceanside, California, said:

While faith is a concept deeply rooted in the Christian Scriptures, most of our modern ideas about it aren't.

Much of the blame can be placedon the way the original manuscripts of the New Testament have been translated into English. It's not that the translators are unskilled or deceptive. It's simply that translating anything from one language to another is a difficult task, burdened by all the ancillary meanings and uses found in one language but not another.

A quick comparison of how we use the words faith, belief, and trust in modern-day English with how they were originally used in the Greek language of the New Testament can be eye opening. Let's take a look to see what I mean.

Faith

For most of us, the word faith conjures up an image of confidence. It's the opposite of fear and doubt. It's often defined by our feelings as much as by anything else. That's why most teaching on faith tends to focus on eradicating all fear, doubt, and negative thoughts. It's also why“You gotta have faith” has come to mean “Think positively.”

Belief

On the other hand, the word belief usually conjures up an image of intellectual assent. We say we believe in something as long as we think that it's probably true. And since our beliefs are thought to exist primarily between our ears, we're not particularly puzzled when people claim to believe in something—say UFOs, Bigfoot, Darwinian evolution, creationism, even Jesus—but live as if they don't. For most of us, beliefs are intellectual. Acting upon them is optional.

You can see this definition of belief in the way many of us approach evangelism. We tell the Jesus story to people and then ask them if they believe it. Those who say yes are immediately assured that they're headed for heaven. After all, they're “believers.” It doesn't seem tomatter that the Bible adds quite a few qualifiers beyond mere mental assent.

Trust

In contrast to our use of faith and belief when we use the word trust it almost always carries an assumption that there will be some sort of corresponding action. If we trust a person, it's supposed to show up in our response. For instance, if the parent of a teenage girl says, “I trust you,” but won't let her out of the house, we'd think that parent was speaking nonsense.There's no question the daughter would.

Clearly, each of these three words carries a distinctly di/erent meaning in the English language. But to the surprise of mostChristians, almost every time we find one of these three words in our English New Testaments, each is a translation of the exact same Greek root word.

That means that the Bible knows nothing of the sharp distinctions we make between faith, belief, and trust. Biblically, they not onlyoverlap, but they are practically synonymous.To the writers of Scripture, our modern distinctions between faith, belief, and trust would seemquite strange and forced.

The Greek word for all three — faith, belief, trust — is pistis.

To better understand what biblical faith is and how it works, let's take a look at the most famous faith passage in the Bible: Hebrews 11. Often called God's Hall of Fame, it offers a lengthy list of examples, each one showing what God-pleasing faith looks like and what it produced.

The writer of Hebrews starts with Adam's son Abel, then moves on to Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, and Moses, laying out aseries of vignettes that describe their steps of faith and the great victories that followed.

Then the writer adds twelve more examples. But this time he offers only a name or a cryptic reference to the great victories their faith accomplished. It's an inspiring list. At first glance it seems to support the popular notion that faith rightly applied can conquer anything. It tells of kingdoms won, lions muzzled, 0ames quenched, weaknesses turned to strength, enemies routed, the dead raised. All in all, a pretty impressive résumé.

But the writer doesn't stop there. He goes on. After reciting a litany of victories, he suddenlyswitches gears and changes direction. Now he speaks of people whose faith led them down a di/erent path—folks who were tortured, jeered, flogged, imprisoned, stoned, sawed in two, and put to death by the sword. He ends with a reminder that still others were rewarded with financial destitution, persecution, and mistreatment.

Then he writes these words: “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.” In other words, these weren't the faith rejects, the losers, the ones who couldn't get it right. These were men and women whose faith was applaudedby God. Yet their faith didn't fix anything. In some cases it made matters worse.

In Hebrews chapter 11, we learn how trusting and obeying God might get you torn in two, thrown into jail, hated by your friends, and force you to drive an old beater the rest of your life.” That ought to thin the herd. That's essentially what the Bible says that faith (at least the kind of faith that God commends) might do. It may lead us to victory. It maylead us to prison. Which it will be is His call—not ours.

WhyBother?

That raises an important question. If faith is primarily about trusting God enough to do what he says, and yet it won't fix everything andsometimes will make matters worse, why bother?

One reason stands out above all others. It's what God wants from us. He says so himself: “Without faith it is impossible to please God.” (Heb. 11:6) Now, it seems to me that if God is really God, and not just some sort of mystical force, cosmic consultant, or favorite uncle in the sky, then knowing what He wants and doing it is a pretty important thing to pay attention to. Few of us would mess with our boss's stated preferences. What kind of fool messes with God's?

A thousand years from now, all the things we try so hard to fix with our positive thinking, visualization, and drive-out-all-doubt prayers won't matter. The only thing that will matter is our awesome future and our face-to-face relationship with God.

Another reason to live by faith (even if it can't fix all the problems we face) is that it does promise to fix our biggest problem and our biggest dilemma. What do we say and do when we stand before a holy and perfect God who knows every one of our secrets and all of our sins? Honest now—what's to keep us from becoming toast? Frankly, nothing. But that's where the real fix-it power of biblical faith kicks in. Jesus promised that all who believe in Him (remember that includes trusting Him enough to actually follow and do what He says) will receive forgiveness and the gift of eternal life.

A thousand years from now, all the things we try so hard to fix with our positive thinking, visualization, and drive-out-all-doubt prayers won't matter. They'll be but a distant memory, if they can be remembered at all.The only thing that will matter is our awesome future and our face-to-face relationship with God.

Faith: God's GPS System for Believers

There's one more benefit to a proper understanding of biblical faith. Biblical faith gives us something that all the positive thinking andvisualization in the world can't provide. It gives us a life map, something we can depend on to always take us exactly where God wants us to go.

Admittedly it's not always an easy map to follow. It takes time, experience, and an occasional leap into the dark to master. It can be frustrating—and scary at times. But in the end, for those who are led by it, it's a trusty guide, guaranteed to always take us where we need to be.

In many ways the adventure of learning to live by biblical faith is a lot like my love/hate relationship with Siri and Google Maps when I travel for work. Let me explain. I'm a geographical moron. My wife has no idea how I get home after traveling somewhere for my job. She's always surprised to see me walk through the front door.

My problem is twofold. First, I'm often in two places at once, mentally. I call it multitasking. My family and friends call it something else. But the end result is that I can be completely oblivious to my surroundings. And when that happens, I literally don't know where I am. I may think I do, but I don't, mainly because I haven't been paying attention.

My second problem is an absolute lack of an internal sense of direction. Without the Pacific Ocean and the mountains as benchmarks, I have no idea which direction is north, south, east, or west. That means that along with not knowing where I am, I often don't know where I'm heading.

Put those two things together and you have a recipe for search-and-rescue. But fortunately (or so you would think), I live in a day when GPS is within reach of the common man. Yet, despite that, there is one frustrating problem. The pesky voice often tells me to turn the wrong way.

My first response is always a quick flash of annoyance at the company that makes the mapping software. I wonder why they can't get it right. I know there are lots of streets they have to include, but come on. That's what I paid for. And I'm not talking about thinking I should turn left when it says to turn right. I'm talking about those times when I know I should turn left.

To make matters worse, as I make the turn that I know I should make, the little lady in the box starts nagging me. In a mildly disgusted tone, she repeats over and over, “Recalculating.Recalculating.”

Faith is not a skill we master. It's not an impenetrable shield that protects us from life's hardships and trials. It's not a magic potion that removes every mess. It's a map we follow.

It's enough to make me reach over to hit the Off button. But before I do, I'm usually struck with a haunting realization. I've been certain I was right before—but somehow ended up wrong. And despite the fact that my GPS sometimes seems unaware of a street or two and occasionally takes me on a circuitous route, it's always found a way to get me where I want to go.

But doggone it, this time I know I'm right. I'm absolutely certain. I don't care how many times she spouts off, “Recalculating.” She's wrong. So, what do I do? This is, in essence, a crisis of faith. I have a choice to make. Will I place my trust in my own sense of direction, knowing that this time my not-so-trusty GPS has gotten it all wrong? Or will I place my faith in the little map and voice and turn right, despite my certainty that it's directing me far from where I want to go?

You probably know the answer. Based on my past experiences, I've learned to shrug my shoulders and do what the unit says. So I reluctantly make a turn that makes no sense to me. As I do, my pulse quickens and my stomach churns. My mind fills with images of deadlines missed and irked superiors at work.

I follow the map and turn anyway. And that's the reason that I always surprise my wife when I walk in the front door. Somehow east magically turns into west and the “wrong” route gets me there anyway. Go figure.

Once I arrive at my destination, it really doesn't matter what doubts or concerns I had along the way. As long as I follow the directions or quickly get back on track after a little “recalculating,” I always end up where I need to be.

That's exactly how biblical faith works. When rightly understood and applied, it doesn't matter how many doubts we have. It doesn't even matter if we're convinced that all is lost. Ultimately all that matters is whether we have enough faith (maybe just a mustard seed's worth) to follow Gods instructions. Those who do, get where they're supposed to go. Those who don't, end up lost somewhere far from home.

Faith is not a skill we master. It's not an impenetrable shield that protects us from life's hardships and trials. It's not a magic potion that removes every mess. It's a map we follow. It's designed to guide us on a path called righteousness. Along the way, it doesn't promise to fix every flat tire. It won't reroute us around every traffic jam. It won't even stop the road rage of the crazy guy we cut off at the merge. But it will take us exactly where God wants us to go. And isn't that where we want to be?

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Blessed are the Peacemakers

Why do you think peacemaking receives so little attention today? (Perhaps it is considered ineffective. Perhaps because it can take such a lengthy investment of time and good will. Perhaps because its goal is not just the cessation of violence but the redemption of all parties.